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Craigslist Adventures

Mothers, Don’t take your Babies to pick up Stray Cabinets on Sundays…

By May 30, 2019October 16th, 2019No Comments

We were legitimately sick. On the tail end.
Not quite sick enough to lay around snoozing, but definitely weak, and sick enough that I wouldn’t want to share our hazardous germs with sweet Nellie May, who is in her 80’s and hugs me dearly every week. Or all the other church goers in my Sunday morning Family.

So… I made the dreadful mistake of looking at the local CraigsList free list, whilst laying sick abed with my newly 14yr old daughter peeking over my shoulder.

Well well, a little cabinet, with lots of drawers!
I’m a total sucker for small drawers.
12 of them.
(Minus one missing, but that can be remedied!)

Nothing like a little adrenaline to muster up some unnatural strength and will power,
the Flu …and the Sabbath be darned.

I was able to contact the seller. It was still available… Miracles!
This is not often the case with the free list.
I could go there and be back before my husband and children got home from church… OK!

My daughter was weak, yet dearly wished to accompany me. We hopped in my Honda Odyssey, seats down, and soon arrived at a large brick storage building that was once a factory in the SE Industrial area, with loading docks for an entrance. The area is near the river, brimming with old factory buildings, freeway overpasses, train tracks, homeless folks, and confusing  streets.

We met the Cabinet Donor Man on the loading ramp, and entered a rather imposing building.
Stories High ceilings… Dim lighting, and a noisy elevator the size of my living room with horizontal cage doors that utilize a rope and lots of manpower to pull up from the floor and down from above to close at eye level…

Then, on up to the 5th floor, where you exit the elevator into a Dark maze of deserted, silent corridors. The factory has been converted to storage units and work space lofts.

Now, follow a perfect stranger through a dim maze, entrusting your life and safety to the unknown….

We did indeed safely arrive where the cabinet was waiting in the corridor,  to be loaded onto a large cart, which we still had in tow.
But first, I looked into a drawer, and inside were some miscellaneous craft glues.
Our guide decided that he’d better double check the drawers before entrusting it to my possession.
He then reached into one of the drawers, and pulled out a larger than life rubber…toy.

Let’s just say it remarkably resembled a certain male anatomical part. In Full Detail.
Yes, Dears, that is the definite impression I got.
And I did have plenty of time to form this impression, because he was not in any way shy or quick about this.

In fact, his casual disregard for my young daughters innocence, and my dignity as a lady was rather shocking.
He wielded it around with no attempt to hide the thing, and casually remarked “oh, I found a “_____.”
As though this was of no particular consequence, just an everyday ho-hum object…nothing doing….
Whilst I frantically threw myself in front of my child’s innocent eyes, he rather slowly proceeded to take it into his art loft to set aside, NOT covering it in any way.

And that, my friends, is NOT the Sunday School Education I would have preferred my daughter to receive that day.
I am a bit traumatized by this, as is she.
I think I will be taking Observing the Sabbath more seriously from here out.
The cabinet has been stowed away in my furniture stash, to allow time to cleanse all wounds.
When I pull it out, there will be actual sanitizing.

My daughter suggested a bonfire.

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